


Animal Crackers

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [13]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Modern AU, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6817819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: I am a hUMan bEINg<br/>laf: bARELY<br/>little lion: EXCU S E ME<br/>johnn: this was about a lunch date<br/>little lion: RIGHT</p>
            </blockquote>





	Animal Crackers

**little lion** : les mis is a really good movie

 **little lion** : pure

**laf** : it's almost four in the morning where are you??

**little lion** : oh that was a dream

**little lion** : I'm in the bathtub

**laf** : why the fuck

**little lion** : I???? don't?? know???

**laf** : get in here and we'll retrace your steps in the morning

**little lion** : okay I'll be right there

\---

**johnn** : sephora is terrifying

**johnn** : save me

**more like HUNKules** : why are you in sephora

**more like HUNKules** : laf has tons of makeup that you could use

**johnn** : IM HERE WITH LAF

**johnn** : OR AT LEAST I WAS BEFORE I L O S T THEM IN HERE

**more like HUNKules** : actually while your there could you pick up my hydrating face stuff

**johnn** : yeah what's it called

**more like HUNKules** : oh idk like pure ocean hydration thing

**johnn** : uhmm

**johnn** : pure deepsea hydrating mask?

**more like HUNKules** : yEAH THAT

**johnn** : ITS 75 DOLLARS

**more like HUNKules** : BEAUTY ISNT CHEAP

**johnn** : S E V E N T Y - F I V E  D O L L A R S

**more like HUNKules** : ILL PAY YOU BACK

**more like HUNKules** : JOHN I DONT GET THIS BABY SOFT SKIN EFFORTLESSLY AND IM A L L  OU T SO PLZ

**johnn** : ILL GET IT FOR YOU ITS JUST,,,,

**johnn** : SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS

**more like HUNKules** : J OH N

\---

**laf** : a girl told me I looked pretty today

**more like HUNKules:** you always look pretty

**johnn** : they were getting a makeover at the counter things and never told me

**johnn** : I spent like a half hour looking for them it was horrific it was like I lost my parent in a grocery store

**laf** : I was in like the front of the store by the window idk how you didn't see me

**johnn** : don't patronize me lafayette

**johnn** : WHERE DID YOU GO

**laf** : OUTSIDE COME ON

**johnn** : A LADY JUST ASKED ME IF I NEEDED HELP

**more like HUNKules** : DID YOU GET MY FACE STUFF

**johnn** : YES I HAVE YOUR OVERPRICED OCEAN CREAM

**more like HUNKules** : THANK YOU

**johnn** : YOU OWE ME SO MUCH MONEY

**johnn** : AND LIKE AT LEAST TWENTY HUGS I SWEAR TO GOD

**more like HUNKules** : IS THAT OUR TRADE SYSTEM NOW

**johnn** : IT SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OUR TRADE SYSTEM

**little lion** : this is why I never sleep

**little lion:** I miss so much

**laf** : it's three in the afternoon

**little lion** : I don't see what your implying here

\---

**johnn** : walmart

**johnn** : now this is a place I can handle

\---

**johnn** : I LOST LAF AGAIN

\---

**laf** : who would we be from the pink ladies

**little lion** : I call rizzo

**more like HUNKules** : IM JAN

**johnn** : that leaves me with marty or frenchy

**little lion** : laf is marty

**laf** : wait why

**little lion** : she had like 40 boyfs that all loved her

**little lion** : everybody loves you

**little lion** : therefore you are marty

  
**laf** : I

**laf** : okay

**johnn** : hoW AM I FRENCHY

**little lion** : you did try to pierce my ears once in college

**johnn** : okay I succeeded you just let them close because they """weren't you"""

**little lion** : and they never will be

**johnn** : AND HOW ARE YOU RIZZO

**little lion** : idk I just wanted to be rizzo

**little lion** : marty is laf For Sure and I can't be jan bc she eats a ton and you all yell at me bc I """never eat"""

**laf** : because you don't

**more like HUNKules** : ITS NOT HEALTHY

**little lion** : tHIS IS NOT A NOW CONVERSATION

**little lion:** BUT ITS NOT LIKE I DO IT ON PURPOSE I JUST FORGET

  
**johnn** : OKAY SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU COULD BE RIZZO O R YOU COULD BE FRENCHY

**little lion** : YES B U T FRENCHYS MAIN THING IS THAT SHE DROPS OUT OF WHATEVER AND YOU SAW ME IN MY COLLEGE DAYS AS IF I WOULD  EVV E R

**johnn** : AND I WOULD??

**little lion** : YOU WANTED TO LIKE FOUR THOUSAND TIMES AND ALMOST DID THAT ONE TIME

**johnn** : THAT WAS ONE TIME

**little lion** : onE TIME IS ENOUGH

**johnn** : OKAY FIRST OF ALL

\---

**little lion** : so who would we be from the T-birds

**johnn** : we're not doing this

**little lion** : fine

\---

**laf** : who ate all of the cheerios

**johnn** : definitely NOT me and alex,,,,,,,

**laf** : it was a family sized box of cheerios

**laf** : I BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY

**johnn** : oops?

**little lion:** you're the one who's concerned about when I eat

**laf** : you're buying a new box on your way home

**johnn** : it's your turn to drive??

**laf** : UGH

\---

**little lion** : wanna go on a lunch date

**johnn** : where

**little lion** : idk depends on who's going

**laf** : I didn't think either of you would be hungry considering the amount of cheerios you both ate

**little lion** : I am a hUMan bEINg

**laf** : bARELY

**little lion** : EXCU S E ME

**johnn** : this was about a lunch date

**little lion** : RIGHT

**more like HUNKules** : aM I INVITED

**little lion** : OF COURSE

**more like HUNKules** : JUST MAKING SURE

**little lion** : WE LOVE YOU OF COURSE YOURE INVITED

**more like HUNKules** : I love you too

**laf** : MY HEART IS WEEPING I LOVE YOU SM HERCULES

**more like HUNKules** : l loVE YOU TOO

**johnn** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**little lion** : WE'RE S O G AY

**laf** : I KNOWOWOW

**more like HUNKules** : I

**johnn** : SCREAMS

**little lion** : SO LUNCH DATE OR NO

**more like HUNKules** : ILL BE THERE YOU JUST NEED TO PICK ME UP IF ITS FAR

**laf** : IM IN

**johnn** : LETS GO

**little lion** : YAY

\---

**more like HUNKules** : how late were you

**laf** : oh my god don't talk about it

**little lion** : a little over an hour

**more like HUNKules** : oh my god sorry

**johnn** : it's fine

**little lion** : next time we should just skip dropping you off and take you to the office

**more like HUNKules** : nO IM FINE

**little lion** : OH COME ON

**more like** **HUNKules** : I AM F I N E

**little lion** : RUDE

\---

**laf** : they should make cake batter flavored animal crackers

**johnn** : where did that come from

**laf** : my soul mostly

**johnn** : babe

**laf** : sighs

\---

**more like HUNKules** :  jewels are so hard to fasten onto fabric what the FUCK

**laf** : you don't have to make my wedding dress

**more like HUNKules** : YES I DO

**laf** : NOT REALLY

**more like HUNKules** : L AF

**more like HUNKules** : YES I DO

**laf** : THEN DO IT AND STOP COMPLAINING

**more like HUNKules** : YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

**laf** : YOURE NOT MAKING IT EASY TO

**more like HUNKules** : YOU CAN COME DOWN HERE AFTER WORK WHEN YALL PICK ME UP AND WATCH ME SEW JEWELS IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND

**laf** : if I loved you even one centimeter less than I do I would say no

**laf** : but I'm going to say yes bc I'm not the one driving

**johnn** : thanks

\---

**little lion** : 420 AT 4:20

**little lion** : BLAZE IT

**laf** : COME BACK TO BED THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK

**little lion** : YOU ALWAYS DO THIS

**laf** : I AM JUST TRYING TO GET YOU TO LIVE TO AT LEAST FIFTY

**little lion** : F I N E

\---

**more like HUNKules** : laf do you want to cut my hair

**laf** : like would I be willing to or like in general do I want to cut off your hair

**more like HUNKules** : would you be willing to

**laf** : ye

**more like HUNKules** : wait do you want to cut off my hair in general

**laf** : I can't read suddenly I just- I don't

**more like HUNKules** : oh I see how it is

\---

**johnn** : I'm veRY COLD AND VERY TIRED SOMEONE GET IN HERE AND CUDDLE THE SHIT OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW

**little lion** : I'm bringing the space heater

**more like HUNKules** : I'm bringing nothing but me

**johnn** : that's enough

**laf** : I'm coming too

**johnn** : I love us

**laf** : same

**more like HUNKules** : same

**little lion** : same

\---

**johnn** : what was that noise

**little lion** : that was the sound of me dropping the space heater

**johnn** : we're wAITING ON YOU

**johnn** : THE CUDDLE SANDWICH IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT HAM(ILTON)

**little lion** : you don't even like ham on your sandwiches

**johnn** : I would if it was you

**little lion** : you'd be,,,eating me

**johnn** :  nothing I haven't done before

**little lion** : J O  H N L AU RE NS

**johnn** : >:^))

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO BEHIND ON MONTHS JFC ANYWAY HERE YOU GO


End file.
